26: A Host with the Most

This baby is moving and grooving in my uterus and IT FEELS WEIRD. It's never really something I got used to with Emmett and it feels just as strange this time around.

I mean, it was regular and fine and sometimes neat. But I was never like, "I LOVE FEELING A HUMAN INSIDE OF ME!" Because that's weird.

A human - IN MY UTERUS. Living in my body like a parasite. It eats what I eat, it drinks what I drink. It's sucking life out of me so that it can live. To be clear, I'm really happy that it does all of this because I want it to thrive in there, since that's the current design of procreation. But I've got some major suggestions for improvement, as I've mentioned before.

For example, though - why does it have to be in a uterus? We know about marsupials! We know they've got the pouch. And in my opinion, that pouch should be removable, adjustable, and shared. Like the Ergo (not an official endorsement - but clearly is a rad baby carrier).

Then there's the seahorse. Their reproduction process starts with a lady and a mister dancing and swimming together for hours - then the female deposits eggs into the male's pouch (after she decides, based on her intuition, his dancing skills are good, and so must be his pouch?) and DUDE carries those babes until it's time to release them. Just read this (from awebsitethatifound.com):

"Before breeding, seahorses may court for several days. Scientists believe the courtship behavior synchronizes the animals' movements and reproductive states so the male can receive the eggs when the female is ready to deposit them. During this time, they may change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails, and wheel around in unison in what is known as a "predawn dance". They eventually engage in a "true courtship dance" lasting about 8 hours, during which the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness. When the female’s eggs reach maturity, she and her mate let go of any anchors and drift upward snout-to-snout, out of the seagrass, often spiraling as they rise. They interact for about 6 minutes, reminiscent of courtship. The female then swims away until the next morning, and the male returns to sucking up food through his snout.^[14] The female inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch and deposits dozens to thousands of eggs. As the female releases her eggs, her body slims while his swells. Both animals then sink back into the seagrass and she swims away."

There are so many things to note here. But come on. "Her body slims while his swells." And then "...she swims away." [Probably to get a mani/pedi.]

This. Is. What. I'm. Talking. About.