Our new baby has a penis!!! We will have BROTHERS! I'm so excited.
Finding out the gender...or sex...or, let's just call it anatomy - is a surreal moment. Both times (the first time with the bud and this second time with the nugget) it was like meeting this baby for the first time. The little blurry cloud of "a baby" in the family picture because much more clear. It's not just a hypothetical baby anymore. It's a boy! A tiny boy. A full, separate, unique, new person in this family. Similar to the one before but not actually at all. Maybe in his looks (he definitely has the same nose). But that's all! We have a whole lifetime with this person to learn all about him and I CAN'T WAIT!
I wonder if his farts will smell like peppery eggs and if I'll like it as much as I did with Emmett.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Sunday, June 19, 2016
27: Parts
At this stage of pregnancy if the baby is a boy his testes will start descending into the scrotum and the penis is fully developed. If it's a girl, her ovaries are fully developed and are holding about 7 million eggs.
So, in my uterus there is either:
1. A penis.
2. One half of any potential grandchild I'll have from this kid.
We find out tomorrow!
So, in my uterus there is either:
1. A penis.
2. One half of any potential grandchild I'll have from this kid.
We find out tomorrow!
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
26: A Host with the Most
This baby is moving and grooving in my uterus and IT FEELS WEIRD. It's never really something I got used to with Emmett and it feels just as strange this time around.
I mean, it was regular and fine and sometimes neat. But I was never like, "I LOVE FEELING A HUMAN INSIDE OF ME!" Because that's weird.
A human - IN MY UTERUS. Living in my body like a parasite. It eats what I eat, it drinks what I drink. It's sucking life out of me so that it can live. To be clear, I'm really happy that it does all of this because I want it to thrive in there, since that's the current design of procreation. But I've got some major suggestions for improvement, as I've mentioned before.
For example, though - why does it have to be in a uterus? We know about marsupials! We know they've got the pouch. And in my opinion, that pouch should be removable, adjustable, and shared. Like the Ergo (not an official endorsement - but clearly is a rad baby carrier).
Then there's the seahorse. Their reproduction process starts with a lady and a mister dancing and swimming together for hours - then the female deposits eggs into the male's pouch (after she decides, based on her intuition, his dancing skills are good, and so must be his pouch?) and DUDE carries those babes until it's time to release them. Just read this (from awebsitethatifound.com):
"Before breeding, seahorses may court for several days. Scientists believe the courtship behavior synchronizes the animals' movements and reproductive states so the male can receive the eggs when the female is ready to deposit them. During this time, they may change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails, and wheel around in unison in what is known as a "predawn dance". They eventually engage in a "true courtship dance" lasting about 8 hours, during which the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness. When the female’s eggs reach maturity, she and her mate let go of any anchors and drift upward snout-to-snout, out of the seagrass, often spiraling as they rise. They interact for about 6 minutes, reminiscent of courtship. The female then swims away until the next morning, and the male returns to sucking up food through his snout.[14] The female inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch and deposits dozens to thousands of eggs. As the female releases her eggs, her body slims while his swells. Both animals then sink back into the seagrass and she swims away."
There are so many things to note here. But come on. "Her body slims while his swells." And then "...she swims away." [Probably to get a mani/pedi.]
This. Is. What. I'm. Talking. About.
I mean, it was regular and fine and sometimes neat. But I was never like, "I LOVE FEELING A HUMAN INSIDE OF ME!" Because that's weird.
A human - IN MY UTERUS. Living in my body like a parasite. It eats what I eat, it drinks what I drink. It's sucking life out of me so that it can live. To be clear, I'm really happy that it does all of this because I want it to thrive in there, since that's the current design of procreation. But I've got some major suggestions for improvement, as I've mentioned before.
For example, though - why does it have to be in a uterus? We know about marsupials! We know they've got the pouch. And in my opinion, that pouch should be removable, adjustable, and shared. Like the Ergo (not an official endorsement - but clearly is a rad baby carrier).
Then there's the seahorse. Their reproduction process starts with a lady and a mister dancing and swimming together for hours - then the female deposits eggs into the male's pouch (after she decides, based on her intuition, his dancing skills are good, and so must be his pouch?) and DUDE carries those babes until it's time to release them. Just read this (from awebsitethatifound.com):
"Before breeding, seahorses may court for several days. Scientists believe the courtship behavior synchronizes the animals' movements and reproductive states so the male can receive the eggs when the female is ready to deposit them. During this time, they may change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails, and wheel around in unison in what is known as a "predawn dance". They eventually engage in a "true courtship dance" lasting about 8 hours, during which the male pumps water through the egg pouch on his trunk which expands and opens to display its emptiness. When the female’s eggs reach maturity, she and her mate let go of any anchors and drift upward snout-to-snout, out of the seagrass, often spiraling as they rise. They interact for about 6 minutes, reminiscent of courtship. The female then swims away until the next morning, and the male returns to sucking up food through his snout.[14] The female inserts her ovipositor into the male’s brood pouch and deposits dozens to thousands of eggs. As the female releases her eggs, her body slims while his swells. Both animals then sink back into the seagrass and she swims away."
There are so many things to note here. But come on. "Her body slims while his swells." And then "...she swims away." [Probably to get a mani/pedi.]
This. Is. What. I'm. Talking. About.
Monday, June 6, 2016
25: Baggage
The bud and I recently took a trip to Seattle. Walking through the airport, pushing a VERY loaded stroller (arms out-stretched, head down, huffing and puffing to get that thing to the gate), I noticed that all the tiniest people have the most luggage. And they have little to no ability to carry it themselves.
The oldest people barely have any luggage at all. We've got 80-yr-olds rolling with a wind-breaker, fanny pack, and - let's get real - one of those secret hide away wallets under their shirts and they get to have airport staff wheel them around like kings and queens (which, they are).
Meanwhile, I'm over here juggling one hundred thousand baggage items, a toddler, and the dirty looks of judgy people who are annoyed that my kid makes a peep. (Or a scream, maybe... but do I need to remind you, 29-yr-old hipster with your vintage leather bag, overpriced headphones, and iProducts popping out of every worn-out pocket of your skinny jeans, that we all started as toddlers?! EVEN YOU. You and your bearded face.)
I can easily pack everything I could need or want in one carry-on bag. If I really had to, I could even consolidate to the size of my JanSport backpack from 1998. But Emmett. EMMETT. He requires a full suitcase, a gate-checked stroller, a carseat bag, and a fully-stocked (read: over-stocked) diaper bag with all the essentials plus emergency measures. And of course, he must have his tiny, adorable backpack with his special items that he gets to carry. While I (read: the pack horse) carry the rest.
What. Is. Up. With. This. Picture.
(Disclaimer regarding the hipster reference: Wayne and I have hipster bags and all the major iProducts, skinny jeans, and worn out denim --- but we certainly do not have over-priced headphones.)
The oldest people barely have any luggage at all. We've got 80-yr-olds rolling with a wind-breaker, fanny pack, and - let's get real - one of those secret hide away wallets under their shirts and they get to have airport staff wheel them around like kings and queens (which, they are).
Meanwhile, I'm over here juggling one hundred thousand baggage items, a toddler, and the dirty looks of judgy people who are annoyed that my kid makes a peep. (Or a scream, maybe... but do I need to remind you, 29-yr-old hipster with your vintage leather bag, overpriced headphones, and iProducts popping out of every worn-out pocket of your skinny jeans, that we all started as toddlers?! EVEN YOU. You and your bearded face.)
I can easily pack everything I could need or want in one carry-on bag. If I really had to, I could even consolidate to the size of my JanSport backpack from 1998. But Emmett. EMMETT. He requires a full suitcase, a gate-checked stroller, a carseat bag, and a fully-stocked (read: over-stocked) diaper bag with all the essentials plus emergency measures. And of course, he must have his tiny, adorable backpack with his special items that he gets to carry. While I (read: the pack horse) carry the rest.
What. Is. Up. With. This. Picture.
(Disclaimer regarding the hipster reference: Wayne and I have hipster bags and all the major iProducts, skinny jeans, and worn out denim --- but we certainly do not have over-priced headphones.)
24: Party Time
The politically correct way to talk about one's Very Important Parts is "sex," not "gender."
So if we throw a party to reveal of the sex of this baby, do we have to call it a Sex Party?
That just doesn't seem right. Please advise.
So if we throw a party to reveal of the sex of this baby, do we have to call it a Sex Party?
That just doesn't seem right. Please advise.
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