22: Apple Sauce & Big News

I had a crazy dream. Here is that dream:

I was in Australia having some business meetings. I was meeting with a head honcho (who, in the dream, was played by a recurring character on Scandal) and he and his team were giving me a tour of their facility. We walked into one of their conference rooms which had a huge, beautiful views of their golf course. We were chatting and laughing - their socks were being charmed right off their feet by yours truly - AND THEN. I had the urge.

TO BREASTFEED.

This was weird because Emmett stopped breastfeeding at the end of last year. But I was desperate! I was surprised at this sudden biological urge, but I knew I had to get this stuff dispersed. Immediately. I crept around, "touring" a little side room on my own and then in my arms appeared my baby. I started breastfeeding, which was a relief.

But instead of breastmilk, out came apple sauce. Apple. Sauce. From my boob. My first thought was, "Oh shoot, the little baby shouldn't be having this, Emmett needs this. It's his favorite." Followed by, "Wtf is applesauce doing coming out of my body?!" Then I thought, "Well, it's all I've got so hopefully it'll work." And the baby gulped it down. I mean, who doesn't love apple sauce?

Okay, so I looked up the meaning of this, and since everything on the internet is true I think I'm really getting down to the root of it all. My search started very specific - "Dream meaning applesauce coming out of breasts" - I figured Google would take me more seriously if I said 'breasts.' That search wasn't terribly fruitful (pun intended) so I just looked up the meaning of breastfeeding and apple sauce, separately.

I learned that, according to www.whateverthewebsitewas.whatever, "To dream that you are lactating or that there is breast milk coming out of your own breasts suggests that you are thinking about motherhood." There's a lot of other weird stuff, too, like if you're a man and you are carrying milk in your breast, or are breastfeeding another man and all kinds of things (and the meanings are mostly financial things) - it's cray, but I digress.

And according to www.otherwebsites.otherstuff, "To dream of applesauce can mean that you will experience happiness in an unexpected way. It could also signify your happiness has changed." And, "applesauce means favor that is displayed in a less rewarding manner, i.e. flattery."

It's true that I am thinking about motherhood, and I am experiencing happiness in a new way, and I am favored in a less rewarding manner (i.e. incontinence) - because, I'm pregnant. There's a baby in this uterus. Growing. Like a parasite. This dream confirmed that, YES, Meg, you will be doing this ALL OVER AGAIN. (Couldn't be happier about it, btw.)

Also confirmed: the next several posts will include facts and thoughts about pregnancy. And people. And people being weird and hilarious about pregnancy. And relationships. And the bud. Ima lay it all out there because WOW. Growing a human is WOW. I'll try to keep it interesting for all the people of the world, not just those with uteruses. But if you have a uterus then WOW. That is one freak of an organ.