17

While I'm on the topic of the bud's "eating" habits...

Months ago, the three of us (Wayne, the bud, and me) were having a regular morning - wake up, breakfast, play time, get ready, Wayne and I tag-teaming the bud throughout.

Wayne was jetting out and I was almost done taming my bangs with the hair straightener in the bathroom. We hollered g'bye, and I was tagged in on supervising the bud.

Wayne was gone about 10 seconds when I heard him come back in the house - "What did you forget?" I said from the bathroom.

I heard Wayne say to Emmett, "What did you...??"

[I will pause here to explain that sometimes - rarely - Addy, our cat, will have a little dingleberry. You know... a little turd that doesn't quite release and gets stuck in the fur around her butt. It's gross and hilarious. But on this day it was EXTRA HILARIOUS because it turned into a snack for someone.]

"Emmett just ate poop!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I rushed into the living room where both the bud and Wayne looked equally stunned - Emmett stunned at Wayne for having such a reaction to this obviously delicious snack, and Wayne stunned by the poop on his finger that he had scooped out to investigate what in the heck was in Emmett's mouth.

I picked up the bud from under his armpits and carried him to the bathroom with my arms outstretched. He was smacking his lips a bit with a sly shit eating grin on his face - literally.

And how exactly do you clean poop out of a baby's mouth? Really. HOW. He doesn't know to spit it out, can't tell me if it's all out, is unable to brush his own teeth or use mouthwash or gurgle saltwater, etc.! So I scooped the rest of the *bigger*chunks* out with my finger, and use water and his toothbrush for the rest.

Emmett was very cooperative. He had already gotten what he wanted.