First non-blog post.

I am not a blogger. So, clearly, this is not a blog. I'm not one of those women who works for a long time, then has a baby, then decides to stay home with that baby, then realizes she has way less contact with the outside world but way more thoughts than ever before, then turns to the internet to share those thoughts. (Yes I am.)

But while we're here, there are a few things I could share. (I wouldn't want to disappoint your choice to click on this non-blog.)

Such as -

That moment when you see your baby for the first time and it's like - THAT THING JUST CAME OUT OF MY BODY [THROUGH MY VVVVVVV]. Oh and also, rainbows and love and hearts and whatever.

S.l.e.e.p.D.e.p.r.i.v.a.t.i.o.n. It's a torture tactic for a reason.

Tiny person sucking on titty. Every two hours. Tiny titty sucker.

When the tiny person smiles and the whole universe is in alignment and there is nothing but goodness in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When that last tiny piece of nail polish from the pedicure you had before you gave birth finally chips off your big toe and now nothing, literally nothing, is as it was before your baby was born.

Trying on pre-pregnancy clothes WAY too soon. Wanna zip off my fat suit already!

You know that feeling of nakedness when you don't have your purse or wallet with you? Or maybe you leave your cell phone at home? Now I feel naked whenever I don't have a carseat, stroller, diaper bag, stroller blanket (it's a thing), white noise machine, swaddle blanket, extra swaddle blanket just in case (that's three blankets now), and a developmental toy available just in case the tiny decides to develop some brain cells while we're out and lest it be my fault he does not have that textured, patterned toy to help that brain crinkle crink!

Since this is not a blog it doesn't have to be wrapped up in a little bow with some meaningful conclusion. So…bye.